Funny Stories

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We all like Funny Stories, they cheer us up and sometimes make us feel better about ourselves. I mean whats more warming than reading a Tragic humorous Story about somebody else’s misfortunes???

Get your reading glasses on:

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A guy is sitting in a bar having a relaxing beer after work, he spots a pretty looking girl sitting on a table across from him and finally plucks up the courage to go and speak to her. He timidly approached her and says “Hi there, I feel a bit cheeky but would it be okay if sit here and talk with you?” She jumps and replies by yelling, “No I won’t sleep with you, Pervert!” All the customers in the bar started whispering and staring over so the man gingerly sneaks off back to his own table. The woman waits a little while then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, “I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments.” The cunning guy now yells loudly, “What do you mean by $500?”

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This fat bloke orders a five day, 10 pound quick weight loss program off the Internet.

The next morning there’s a knock on his door and standing there is a gorgeous, athletic looking, 19 year old cracker dressed in just a pair of Adidas trainers and a big sign round her neck.

She jogs on the spot and introduces herself as an Instructor from the weight loss company.

The sign round her neck says “If you catch me you can have me”. She sets off on the run.

In a flash he sprints after her.

After about a mile he collapse and has to give up.

She turns up for the next four days with the same outcome.

On the last day he jumps on the scales and is delighted to find he has lost 10 pound as the advert said.

He gets back on the computer and orders their five day 20 pound program.

Next day there’s a bang on his door and behind it is the most fittest, most stunning and incredibly beautiful woman he has ever seen in his entire life.

She is wearing nothing but Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck that reading “If you can catch me you can have me”.

Well he’s off like a shot up the road after her.

This girl is fast and in great shape and even though he tries his hardest he starts to stow and has to give up.

Same thing for the next four days, same routine as he gradually gets fitter and fitter.

Hes delighted to find that on the fifth day when he weighs himself hesĀ  lost another 20 pound as the program said.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the seven day 50lb offer.

A Warning flashes up saying “This is our most rigorous program yet, are you sure?”

He gives a bit of a smile and hits the yes button.

Next morning there’s a louder bang on door, when he goes out he finds an enormous muscly guy standing there in nothing but pink Asics trainers and a sign tied round his neck reading “If I catch you pretty boy your are mine!”

He lost 58 pounds in the first 3 days!

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For more laughs check out our Funny Jokes, Funny Videos, Lookalikes and other Funny Stuff

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